My Father Had Ulcers in Highschool

Literally the worst timing. Literally the worst. I can't back out now though. I can't. I have to be strong. I can do it. I am strong. I am fine. We can do this. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

I'm not ready. In the state I'm in. Fuck. I have to man up, I can't run away, I'm not like them. I need to push through. For her. What if I break down in the car? What if I turn into a pumpkin? What if the sky turns green and drops acid rain?

If only there were some way out. Some kind of pause button. Sleep doesn't help, it just brings tomorrow faster and the difference between 5 and 9 hours of sleep gets less and less meaningful as grades pass. I only signed up for one credit beyond what was recommended. Why is it so hard?

Why can't I sleep? Why can't I stay awake? Seriously, what the hell is wrong with me?