Distant Memories

A lot of what's gone onto this blog has been about my older brother. I even wrote a poem about it not that long ago (Sidenote: I never sit down with the intention of writing a poem. I start writing something and paragraph breaks happen).

Today, I was sitting with one of the people I'll be living with for my new job. The subject of my family came up and she asked me about my older brother. "What's he doing?"

I paused for a moment. I hadn't thought about my older brother with any real intensity for about a month, and suddenly I was in the position of trying to explain him to this woman who'd spent the last 12 years serving missions kids in Thailand.

"Nothing good."

My response was meant to be mildly humorous, but the effect seemed to be one of mild shock. "So, is he not walking with the Lord then?"

Fortunately, we were interrupted before I was forced to respond. If we hadn't been, I don't know what I would have said.

I can talk with these missionaries about how I'm still in the process of quitting smoking. I can talk about my alcoholic friends. I can even talk with pride about my atheist-stoner friends. But, I was unable to find the words to communicate the existence of my older brother. I was a little ashamed, but mostly I was confused. What is he?

Tonight, I talked with my mom over Skype and she told me a story. My older brother recently had two cell phones disappear within the course of a few weeks. One day, my dad got a phone call from a guy who had found one of these phones. My dad arranged for the guy to meet up with my older brother and return the phone. After my older brother had met this guy and gotten his phone back, the guy walked him back to his car. The guy asked him, "Who is Jesus Christ to you?"

"A distant memory."