Gradually it was disclosed to me that the line separating good and evil passes not through states, nor between classes, nor between political parties either - but right through every human heart - and through all human hearts. This line shifts. Inside us, it oscillates with the years. And even within hearts overwhelmed by evil, one small bridgehead of good is retained. And even in the best of all hearts, there remains... an unuprooted small corner of evil.I wish I had something interesting to say about this quote, but I don't. I just thought I'd share it with all six of you.
- Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Meditation Material
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
25 Reasons Why I'm Angsty
- I am very silly and self-absorbed.
- I am confused about who I am and why.
- I have lost the direction that I felt so strongly for all of my cognizant life.
- I have rare good connections with my family members, but it seems that nearly every time I do I find a way to mess it up near the end.
- I have failed more social obligations in the past few months than in the previous four years.
- I want to move back home.
- I don't know anyone from back home anymore.
- I want to become orthodox.
- I want to become an evangelical missionary.
- I want to fall in love and get married and have children.
- I have ended (certain friends would say "sabotaged") every relationship I have been in for ultimately selfish and questionable reasons.
- I know that getting into a relationship right now would be like trying to bake a cake in the middle of a tornado.
- My parents want me to get married and have children.
- My littlest brother wants me to get married and have children. My deadline is his 14th birthday, two years.
- Every time I go to church, I feel like I truly have "found the true faith."
- That make me an arrogant jerk.
- My orthodox friends are partisan to orthodoxy.
- My protestant friends are partisan to protestantism.
- I think both are good. Which is to say, neither is evil.
- I am an external processor.
- I don't want to talk about it.
- I wish I was a better person.
- I wish I wasn't so cranky and whiny all the time.
- I want to quit smoking.
- No I don't.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Sorry, Bro
My Brother posted the following video on my facebook wall with a very simple question. He said, "huh... what do you think?" I started writing a response, but it got so long and so rambly and so off topic that the only place where it would be appropriate is this blog, which is, if anything, a collection of long, rambly, off topic things that I wrote.
Please, be aware that what follows is very much in progress inside my head. A wise man once told me to always write my theology in pencil. There's been a lot of erasing and re-writing recently.
Please, be aware that what follows is very much in progress inside my head. A wise man once told me to always write my theology in pencil. There's been a lot of erasing and re-writing recently.
He's got a lot of valid criticism for the ways in which the church has used the doctrine of the afterlife. He also says a lot of things that the Orthodox church says about the nature of our purpose on earth, and our relationship with God. That said, I believe that he is doing something that is highly dangerous.
He's throwing out the baby with the bathwater. There are myriad doctrines of the afterlife within the myriad christian traditions. By boiling the doctrine of hell down to a "nothing but," in this case nothing but a control tactic, he's consequently disregarding 2000 years of earnest and holy men and women who also struggled with the same questions he has and came to vastly different conclusions within the framework of their own traditions, which I would argue can be much harder than leaving behind one's tradition completely.
All religion is based in one form of tradition or another. No matter how hard we may try to ignore tradition, it is an irrevocable part of any religious or spiritual movement. These traditions exist because there is something in them that points toward God, as he says. However, he claims that he "matured through his tradition" and I find that to be extremely suspect and a very slippery slope.
Traditions keep us in line. The protestant tradition of solo scriptura is a way to test ourselves and one another based on a common agreement, that scripture is the ultimate authority in matters of doctrine and practice. The traditions of the Nicene Creed and the church councils that created it keep Christians worldwide trinitarian, for the most part.
It is my belief that these traditions are, as this man claims, creations of humanity. But, creations of humanity guided by the Holy Spirit. If we believe in an active God, which if we accept the christian scriptures, or even the idea of Jesus Christ (emphasis on Christ), then we must. Then I feel that we must also believe that christian traditions have been guided, at least in part, by the hand of God.
I agree that God is uncontainable. No tradition or theology can fully encompass, or even scratch the surface of who and what God is. I believe that human diversity is evidence of this. Human beings, all very different in so many ways, and yet similar in so many more, are all created in the image of God. But then how can we be different? Are there multiple images of God? No, as the Shema has proclaimed since Moses, the Lord your God is one. We are, instead, like seven billion mirrors, aimed at the same infinite skyline. We, together, reflect the image of God, and every one of us contains within us the image of God. I'm coming to suspect that this analogy applies to various religious traditions as well.
Of course, every analogy falls apart at some point, and I do believe that some people (and some traditions) reflect more of God than others, but my point is that when we decide to blaze our own trail outside the realm of established tradition we risk making up a spirituality and a faith that is utterly and completely tailored to our own emotional leanings. In essence, we all become our own personal Popes (only without the lifetimes of devotion to God, which I feel is a bit of an important aspect to the Papacy).
Of course, there have been many incredible Christians who have broken from their traditions, Luther being perhaps the most prominent, who started their own traditions which do reflect the image of God. I'm not saying that it's completely wrong to break from tradition, just very very dangerous. Most of those people who started their own traditions did so with much fear and trembling, prayer and pain. They also kept much of what came from their original traditions.
None of this, however, says anything about Hell. I don't know what to think about Hell, exactly. But, I will say that I feel very drawn towards the Orthodox understanding of the afterlife. It's complicated, but it's probably best described by C. S. Lewis at the end of The Last Battle.
[T]here came to meet me a great Lion... I fell at his feet and thought, Surely this is the hour of death, for the Lion (who is worthy of all honour) will know that I have served Tash all my days and not him... But the Glorious One bent down his golden head and touched my forehead with his tongue and said, Son, thou art welcome. But I said, Alas, Lord, I am no son of thine but the servant of Tash. He answered, Child, all the service thou hast done to Tash, I account as service done to me. Then by reasons of my great desire for wisdom and understanding, I overcame my fear and questioned the Glorious One and said, Lord, is it then true, as the Ape said, that thou and Tash are one? The Lion growled so that the earth shook (but his wrath was not against me) and said, It is false. Not because he and I are one, but because we are opposites, I take to me the services which thou hast done to him. For I and he are of such different kinds that no service which is vile can be done to me, and none which is not vile can be done to him. Therefore if any man swear by Tash and keep his oath for the oath's sake, it is by me that he has truly sworn, though he know it not, and it is I who reward him. And if any man do a cruelty in my name, then, though he says the name Aslan, it is Tash whom he serves and by Tash his deed is accepted. Dost thou understand, Child? I said, Lord, thou knowest how much I understand. But I said also (for the truth constrained me), Yet I have been seeking Tash all my days. Beloved, said the Glorious One, unless thy desire had been for me thou wouldst not have sought so long and so truly. For all find what they truly seek. (The Last Battle, Chapter 15)
But, that's cheating, because that's more about Heaven, isn't it?
As far as I understand it, the Orthodox believe that upon death, our spirits are at rest. There will come a day when all are judged by Christ. That judgement, however, does not take the form of a courtroom drama, or a weighing of some mystical scales, good deeds on one side, bad deeds on the other. No one has any decisions to make.
The Orthodox believe that one of the best ways to describe God is that of a Holy Fire. No man can see God and live because if we were exposed to the Divine Fire directly, we would be unable to stand the force of energy. Seeking after God is about discovering a spark of that Divine Fire within each of us and our neighbors (the image of God) and in the whole of creation, and cultivating it.
At the final judgement, those who have cultivated the Divine Fire within themselves and the world will be in pure ecstasy and joy. Those who have run away from the Divine Fire, neglected it, disdained it, will find themselves in incredible pain, unable to stand in the presence of God, they will, depending on who you talk to, either be cast out of God's presence, or run away from it. C. S. Lewis also explained this idea pretty well in The Great Divorce.
This is not a punitive thing. It is a consequence, true, but more along the lines of developing cancer after 50 years of chain smoking rather than receiving a fine for having expired tags.
So. What do I think? Is this guy completely crazy and should we ignore everything he says? No. Is he completely correct and we should follow his teachings and have him lead us spiritually? No. It's complicated. The man has valid things to say, but makes some very dangerous, in my opinion, mistakes.
Finally, RE: Hell. Do I believe in Hell? Yes. Do I believe in the same version of Hell that we grew up understanding, the version on Looney Toons, South Park and The Far Side comics? No. I do not. Again, it's complicated.
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