Shotguns

Note: I almost submitted this as a prayer request on his website. I'm glad I didn't.

When I was young, I had a dream that I was standing in the foyer of the church. My parents were in the building, but I didn't know where. I wasn't afraid, I was just wandering around.

I remember a man burst through the front door holding a double-barreled shotgun. I was afraid. He was so angry. He turned to me and started yelling. "Where's Bily? Where's Bily!?" I remember being confused, because in my head you were Pastor Robert, and it took me a second to figure out what the angry man was talking about.

"I don't know! I don't know." I said.

He asked where my parents were. I said downstairs. He left, and I was very confused.

For years I wondered what that dream was about. I remembered it, and I still remember it. When the news of your gross abuses of power began to surface in my life, I was reminded of my dream and I began to wonder again about what it could mean. I think I've figured it out.

The man in my dream is me The dream was a warning of what I could be, of what my rage could become. I am no longer a child, and today I am angry.

You have nothing to fear from me today. God willing, I will never have to see again. I will not come after you with a shotgun, but I thought you should know. If it weren't for God's intervention when I was very young, if the seed of this dream had not been there to warn me of the dangers of being consumed by anger, you would be in danger.

You've lived long enough for a generation of angry young men to grow up with your domineering, vicious shadow in their memory. You are growing old and weak, and many angry young men would be glad to watch you burn. Be careful. Be aware. I'm sure I'm not the only one with a shotgun in his soul.