Anatomy of a Wave

It's all so confused, up here in my brain. I don't know who to trust, you see, and I'm so very trusting. So I trusted you. And, then you go and say what you say for your own reasons, unknown to me in every way. And you asked what was wrong, and I told you. And you were much afraid. And I didn't understand why you wanted to leave.

But, I understand perfectly you see. Because, it's all so confused up here. Here in my brain. With all the thoughts and emotions, mixing like sand and water clearly labeled in the panels Bottomless Belly Button. I'll take the time to understand the ciphers in the liturgy, but comic books no matter how long are not theology. Usually.

And, I trusted you with the money. And you trusted that I would come back. But, I'm not. And you understand. And you want me to explain. I'll Skype with you and drop hints about my shift in religion, but you will not catch them. You are only in high school after all.

Then, you have trusted me with very little. And yet I have found a way to betray that very little trust. I was crazy, lonely, confused. And I kept you up far past your bedtime too many nights in a row. And I can't explain to you why I go where I go, and you obviously will not be following. But, I still hope that you will anyway because your eyes are like diamonds, how they cut so cold. And the beauty about you makes me wonder if angels, theraflu or otherwise, have halos like yours.

And I was right about objectivism. Objectively speaking. And, I will only walk through that door if I'm sure that I won't be walking back. But I can never be sure of anything, least of all myself. And I trust that I trust too much. And I know that you trust no one, especially since they put you in jail for halibut, for halibut's sake.

So I'll meet you for coffee and I'll tell you to take a nap and you'll invite me to get a drink. You talk, and I talk, and the pieces come back together. And the sand falls through the sieve. No, it's an hourglass. And the wave retreats back into the ocean. And I trust that it will come back out again. But in the meantime, will you hold my hand for a minute? Listen to me breathe? I would like to be cut by your diamonds and engulfed by your halo. But, I understand if you need to walk away. These waves are vaguely terrifying, after all.